I'm really angry with her. What in hte world is she trying to do? I want to hate her, to forget her. Shit. What kind of love is this, where you torture the one whom you love, by going out with other guys though you know the guy whom you claim to love is free and wants to go out with you? Ok, so that's her ex. So what? Make a choice damn it. Either him or me. Let's not be stupid here. You're wasting my time, playing with my heart, if you don't make a damn choice.
220505 Sun (more like 230505 pre dawn)
She went KTV till around 3 am in the night with her family. Had a chat with her on the phone when she came back. The first hour, it was really nice... talked about her day, and what not other stuff... Then found out that she wasn't meeting jing tomorrow as planned, and instead, was meeting gw for the entire day... She agreed to meet up with him even though i'm sure she knew that i'm free the entire day... let's say she didn't know... she still shouldn't have agreed to meet him for the entire freakin day... especially after I told her that i'm free.... she could have shortened the thing or something, and meet me after that.... but actually... i don't think i would want to on second thought... Put it nicely, she is a person that can't let go.... Put it badly, she's a slut...
So I told her in a very serious tone on the phone, that basically she had to choose... that what she is doing is hurting me... and she got angry, and said that we should go sleep... Ok...
Sent her 3 smses immediately after... I wanted this to be clear...
1st sms: To me, i'm totally fine with the fact that a part of you is with gw, or shuming, and can't forget them, and think of them though you mgiht be with me. I understand it is hard to forget the good and bad times you had with them. But what I cannot accept is you actively going out and being more than just friends with someone else when you say that your heart is with me, whether or not it is gw, or someone else. Gw is able to accept it now cause you and he break, and he knows your heart is supposed to be with me. But let's say you and him get back together and you still go out with me like what you do with him, he will surely be affected. This is what i refer to when I say that you bully me... I'm ok with whatever your decision is... If it is with him, then I will just walk away. A person's heart cannot be with more than 1 person... If it is, the very least is that hte action shows clearly what it is...
2nd sms: And as for our relationship, it is a fact that right as of this moment, we are boyfriend girlfriend. We have been since v.day. The term bf gf is just a word to describe the close, intimate relationship between two people. Whether or not we call each other bf or gf doesn't matter at all. You can call a rose anything you want, but it still refers to the same flower. Name is not important. It's the heart. That's why when those important to me ask me whether I have a gf, I say yes. The only reason why this relationship could withstand sherning is because your heart was, and is still not with him, and throughout, though you can't forget gw, your actions, that is, ignoring him, not asnwering his calls, and not meeting him, show clearly where your choice is... But now, seems that it has changed... It's common for people to leave their current bf and return to their ex. If that is what you want, I understand...
3rd sms: This is the last sms I'll send you. If your choice is to be with him, don't reply this sms. I also won't call or sms you again. If it is to be with me, then reply k? The choice is yours. Standing by you while you are in the arms of someone you don't love is bad enough already. Standing by you when you are in the amrs of someone you still love? I don't want to imagine. I'll really breakdown and go nuts.
Sent the last sms at 6:05 am... Couldn't sleep at all after that.... though I did try... Spent the whole day trying to stop thinking about her.... but even as of now, 22:33, I'm freakin still thinking of her... shit...
She finally replied me at 18:46 anyway... "Still angry?..."
What the shit do you think? Actually, not really angry.... just really sick and tired of her... disappointed that this is what she means by her loving me... Claims that "I know u pms thats why let u cool down never msg u till much later".. BULLSHIT! you obviously never msg me cause you are out with him... I'm not dumb k? If you really are concerned, you would have saw those 3 msgs and immediately called me or sms me, no matter how tired or wat not you are, to settle this issue... And it's not possible for you not to call if u actually love me.... cause you'd be too affected by those messages to not call me... Don't give me those lame excuses... I'm smarter than you by far k?
So why call on at 19:44? Why even bother? Why msg me at 18:46? What are you up to? Playing with my heart again? To think that I'm willing to give you so much more than what you are willing to, and you keep on saying that I take you for granted, that I bully you.... oh please.... get a life...
Screw you... I'll get over you... Wish you and him the best of luck... you two are meant for each other.... he hurts you, you hurt me... both of you are people who take pleasure in hurting the ones you love... so I think you two are the perfect match made in heaven...
