The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Thursday, June 16, 2005

What has happened?

What happened to the initial feeling of love?
The passion, the desire, the need, the want to just hold each other in a tight embrace as if there is no tomorrow? To spend the night walking under the stars? To gaze into the horizon and feel the night breeze? What has happened? Where has this feeling gone to? I'm sure I still have it... I yearn to hold her, but I keep getting this feeling that she now treats me more as a friend. The passion has gone. Our midnight chats are more out of duty and habit, than due to the longing to hear my voice. If I feel the same way too, I really don't mind... But my heart for her has not changed... but I keep getting the feeling that hers has changed...

I ask her to come out, she says she'll think about it, and tell me later and stuff, even though she is surely free that day, with nothing to do... What happened to the passion? I want to hold her, though she is at work, but she shys away... Remember the time we held each other in a tight embrace in the middle of the pedestrian walkway, oblivious to all? What happened to that? So much has changed... So much, in such a short time.... Love.... What is it, really?

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