The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Friday, May 20, 2005

A Glimpse of Light...

16th May

Pearl came over to my place, and we watched jue2 shi4 hao3 bra, and did some job seeking calls... She just realised how much a liar sherning actually is.... everything that he said, no matter how big or small, 90% of them are all lies... Her parents and immediate family are starting to support her decision to break...

Anyway, went with her to Jurong Point for a while after that, walked around a bit, then she had to go meet GW... I sometimes dunno what in the world she wants... But I've got to let her have some freedom of her own I guess...

In the night, on the phone, she was crying again... due to both GW and sherning... She broke up with sherning on the phone... there's only so much lies a person can take before he/she loses all faith and trust in that person... So accompanied her thru the night on the phone... didn't sleep at all, the 2 of us... then planned to meet up at 6:30am in the morning to go East Coast Park...


17th May

Spent the day with her at East Coast Park... she didn't speak much, and didn't eat anything the entire time I was with her, even though I tried to get her to eat something.... guess my 'hong'ing techniques not good at all... need a lot more practise... Just spent the entire morning and afternoon in each other's embrace... And slept on the bench there too.... -_"-... Started to rain in the late morning... quite heavy... so we sat in the sheltered hut, looking towards the sea, while tiny raindrops still managed sprinkle on us due to the strong wind... She finally got better later on in the afternoon... then she had to go meet GW again.... sigh... But as long as I kinda have an inkling where her heart is, I think I should be able to endure... cause the heart is the most important....

18th May

Met her after her tuition, and then with my mum, went to visit a dance studios... Alvin Lau's dance studio at YMCA, and John and Josephine at (Parkview/Parklane?) Anyway, had a good time with her... less dramatic then the 2 days before... a good break from the drama life that we are currently living... -_"-.... She wasn't feeling too well though, her tummy.... I think most probably due to the fact that the previous day, she didn't eat for more than 24 hours... from the time she was at my house, to the time she met GW after coming back from East Coast...

19th May

Told her to come out, but she wasn't feeling too well, and was pmsing... I really have to find some way to deal with her pmsing... cause I'm too affected, even though I know that logically, it is just pms.. and it will go with just some time... just that I'm still affected very much by her pmsing... dun wan her even to pms at all... At least her pmsing ended late afternoon.... =) But her tummy still in pain... -_"-

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