The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Possessiveness

Just had a realisation that I have to record down.

Why even bother to be so possessive, to care so much who she sees, who she meets, who she goes out with? Why even let myself be so affected? If she is so easily swayed, what kind of love does she have for me? Am I really searching for such a love? I think not. She can go for all I care in that case... So, possessive for what? Just screw it.

Also, just contact her now and then to see what she is doing so that she'll not think i'm ignoring her or something, but nothing more... I want her to love me not because I love her, but because she herself loves me... If she loves me just because I love her, then what is the point? She can go for all I care...

posted by - Emptiness - | 7:20 pm

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