The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

What I didn't do...

Recap:

10th April, Sunday
Went to church, then to tuition x2. Had a 4 hour A maths/E maths session since chun yuan also wanted A maths tuition this time instead of english tuition. Talk about maths overload... Anyway, went home for dinner, then did some mopping... then she miss called me. I called her back, she didn't reply. I sms her, she also never reply. What was I supposed to do? She finally called, and throughout the 6 mins on the phone, she didn't utter a single word, after which she hung up the phone on me. I thought it's cause GW called her and made her angry or something. I called and called, and finally she picked up the phone, telling me she'll call me back later as she was speaking to jing. 3 hours later, she called me back. I was pissed. What does she treat me as? Is everything else more impt? Do you keep the one you claim you love waiting for 3 hours before speaking to him? Goodness...

I found out why soon enough. Earlier, she was waiting at TBP for me. The best part is that she never told me! -_"- She expected me to call and ask her what she was doing. I mean, come on... I only finished tuition at 7:40pm, reached home at 8:00pm after which I immediately proceeded to eat my dinner... by then it was already 8:40pm, then I went to mop the place... I'm busy! I thought she was too, which is pretty normal since every sat sun, she is very the busy... Was waiting till after 10pm or so, when all her activities would probably end, to call her up... Apparently, she waited from afternoon to 9:30pm when she called me, at tbp plaza for me to call her... girls... I know she wants to feel a little loved... but this isn't the way to do it... expecting something from someone when the someone doesn't even know you are expecting it... you could say it's my fault too la... can't just blame her... if i smsed her earlier, then no problem... but i dun wan to sms her just to realise she is with sherning or someone else, and just hurt myself...

life...

So she threw her temper at me, and i at her, since i wasn't in a good mood anyway after waiting 3 hours... and it ended up with me calling her, and she constantly hanging up the phone on me.... till she switched off her mobile. I called her again when she switched it on, when she finally picked up telling me not to call anymore... "Fine, I won't call again" was wat i smsed her... I really intended not to call her forever more at that point of time.... but haha... so much for resolve

11th April, Mon

Smsed her in the morning... She was feeling better already... talked to her on the phone when I came back from school.... which was pretty uneventful, considering I was having a severe case of running nose, and I couldn't be bothered with anything at all.... Meeting her on the 12th...

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