Emptiness

There are times when I talk to Pearl, and I know she is feeling empty, feeling lonely... It is at these times when I realise how helpless I am to comfort her, to hold her close, and show her how much I love her. I don't mind going down to her place to hug her, just so that she'll feel ok, loved, comforted... I want to hold her tight, let her rest her head on my shoulder, till she falls asleep soundly, not think of anything...

But she can't go out of the house after midnight... If only she was still living in the hostel, I wouldn't think twice about cycling / driving there... Maybe I'd even run there, if the other two options are not available... That's how much I want to be by her side during these times... At times, you need to be by a person physically, as in actually be by the person's side to comfort the person... I so very much want to be by her side to be that person... When she said she'll not be extending her stay in hostel last sem, I was rather sad about it... A large part due to this...

I feel so helpless....
So very helpless....

To see the person I love feel like that, and can't do anything to help.... I try to talk her out of it, I sms her, but I know for sure that she is still feeling empty.... Cause I felt this feeling countless times before, and I know how it works... Its a damn lonely feeling...

Like why is the world against you,
why is everything turning against you,
why is everyone out there so happy except you,
why can't I have what I am looking for so hard,
and many other whys....

When I see her like that, my heart it hurts real bad... After puting down the phone with her today, I just continued lying motionless on the sofa where I was talking to her from... This feeling... its horrible.... Something to the extent of seeing you child in great pain, but unable to help him in anyway....

Love is painful....

Doushite?

What can I do to help her? What can I do to comfort her? What can I do? I just want to see her happy.... I'm willing to do anything to make her feel loved, feel cheery, feel that life is good to sensitive and kind ppl like her.... But I just can't.... Nothing that I can do....

WHY!?!?!?


I Try -- by -Emptiness-

I want to hold her close,
True love's daily dose,
But I'm so far from her,
That much I am sure.

Talking on the phone,
I feel it in her tone,
The emptiness she feels,
The pain I try to heal.

But limited are these,
Words that come with ease.
At times like this I see,
That what she needs is me.

To be there by her side,
And in the darkness guide.
To wrap my arms around,
And wipe away her frowns.

But the irony is that,
I'm the one at fault.
Without me in her life,
She wouldn't be in strife.

If for me to leave,
Would give her soul relief,
I wouldn't mind at all,
To make that painful call.

I can be cruel to myself,
But just not to the girl I love.
For I can feel her heart,
And how it'll be torn apart.

To me this pain is far,
Greater than any scar.
To see your one beloved,
In hurt she doesn't deserve.