The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Friday, December 24, 2004

Pearl update....

Haven't talked to her since monday.... Wonder how's it going for her.... but I bet she's havin a lot of fun.... so busy, sure no time to think of anything else, unless she is like me, bothered by something, or the want of someone... *sigh* I've managed to prove, emprically that that is possible siah.... But at least I've got a good pal like mk to keep me company.... good friends are hard to come by siah.... must appreciate and treasure it....

Talking about appreciating and treasuring good friends, I never had this inclination of doing so.... In kindergarden, it was Daryl.... after kindergarden, lost contact with him totally until JC... In primary school, it was Matthew... when I transfered to ACPS, lost contact with him too, and up till today, I have absolutely no idea where he is, or what he is currently up to... In secondary school, I hung out with a bunch of pals, but now, kinda don't contact them anymore, though at least I still know what they are doing, or at least some of them.... Then, in JC, it was mk, and it was about to take the same direction too, when I hardly contacted him when I was in the army.... Fortunately, we are still good friends for 2 reasons....

1. I finally realised how precious good friends are
2. He has a car, and hence we can go out more often....

Life's like that.... you never treasure something until you have lost it.... (I never really treasured the friendship I had, including with mk, until I realised I lost it in the army) I hope that if ever I forget what I just said, I would be able to read this post, and realise the err of my ways and turn back....

Anyway, back to pearl.... I'm currently wondering whether I should call her, or just wait till Sunday before doin' so... She must be pretty busy now, with all her friends and stuff.... Its Christmas, ya know? And for that matter of fact, I have yet to pass her the Christmas gift I have prepared for her.... A damn expensive card, and a drawing of her.... Summore i'm going to frame the drawing up.... Will be the most expensive gift I give for Christmas this year.... but that doesn't really count for anything considering I didn't even give any Christmas gift this year.... except for treating mk and xin.... haha.... This is what happens when you are financially constrained.... And she better take sociology next sem.... den at least I'd have a common subject with her.... plz! take sociology!!!

The world I'd give,
For that dream to live....

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