The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Emptiness (Final edition)

Sometimes, in the midst of friends,

There is an invisible wall.

All around me it extends,

Resilient, sturdy and tall.

Imprisoned within this void,

A place no one else can enter,

A vacuum null and devoid,

Of pleasure, joy and laughter.

In vain, I try to breakout,

Hammering the walls until both

Hands bleeds, tired and worn out,

In great anguish, I swore an oath:

That my life won’t be so dull --

All around me are just smiles.

Outwardly, I joked with them,

Yet inside, there’s this loneliness,

That I hide away from them,

As none can grasp this emptiness.

Trying to veil this feeling,

I hear how strange my laughter sounds,

As if someone is moving

My lips, my body he bounds.

Like a puppet tied to thread,

I dance on to entertain,

No words escape, no tears I shed,

Though I want to holler in pain,

That my life can be so dull

Even though around me are just smiles.

Who can I relate to? To

Whom can I express my inner-

Most thoughts? Or am I condemned

Just because I am a sinner?

To walk this long road alone,

With just myself as company,

Through the expanse, the unknown,

Reciting Buddhist litany?

Around me now, the world seems

Like a facade -- artificial.

Where people don masks and scheme,

Resembling a drama serial

The actors, faces concealed,

Go about their lives, with hidden

Secrets yet to be revealed,

While all along, feigning concern.

Pretending to help, giving

Worthless advice, which sounds like

Words of wisdom, misleading

Me to think they care when, in truth,

All they care about,

Is themselves.

My life is so dull because

All around me are just snarls.

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