The Space In Between

You know the times, when you wake up in the morning and stare blankly into the ceiling, and wonder, "What should I do today?" That's basically my life. Real fun. Life's like a neverending cycle of contradictions. Waiting in earnest for exams to be over, only to dread the boredom of having nothing to do in the holidays. Perhaps its just me, but I bet i'm not the only one. I have to admit that there are things to do, people to meet, games to play, movies to watch, books to read. But always, something missing. Even in the company of friends, the lingering feeling is always there, like a phantom stalking me, ready to pounce at me the moment the fun and laughter stops. That's the emptiness I feel, which seems to paint my surroundings grey and dull, bleak and inanimate. Emptiness, the place in between, a place where no one else can enter, that time just seems to stand still......

Friday, April 08, 2005

I recall...

I recall the days,
When she'd ask me not to go.
And the windy nights,
When she'd ask me to hold her close.

I recall her smile,
When she held on to my arms,
And her longing eyes,
When she knew I had to go.

I recall her voice,
When we whispered on the phone.
And her quiet breaths,
When she finally fell asleep.

But now I see,
That we're drifting apart.
When was the last,
When I felt that she needed me?

Now during the days,
She wants to go back home alone.
And for many nights,
She wants to go to sleep alone.

Now during her smile,
I can sense it isn't from her heart.
And in her darting eyes,
I can see her mind's wondering somewhere else.

Now during her speech,
I can feel a sense of irritation.
And through her breaths,
I know she's not exactly at ease.

What happened to us?
Where was the feeling I felt before?
What was the change?
I have no clue, someone tell me please.


On wed, couldn't help myself but get back together with her again after I met her to pass her some stuff... I'm like a fish in a net... trapped... trapped nevermind... now i'm setting my goals on being less possessive over her... cause its the possessiveness that is causing me to feel painful all the time...

But now, I see that the way she is treating me is getting different... So different from last time... I don't know why but I just thought about the past, and how we were then... so very different... what happened?

I don't know... I really don't...

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