Release, finally....

Before 11:00pm yesterday, 22nd Jan...

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The girl I like,
Has put a pike,
Thru my heart,
Tearing it apart.
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This numbing loneliness,
When will it go on till?
Waiting for her to call,
Knowing she never will.
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I laugh, when she speaks,
Her simplicity draws me close.
And cry, when she weeps.
Her fragile heart who else knows?

But I’m just a friend,
Fated never to be any more.
A means to an end,
To be used, then thrown like a whore.

But what can I do?
Like a puppy I heed her call.
But even pups need love too,
Some care and concern, however small.
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After 11:00pm yesterday, 22nd Jan...

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Though I cannot,
Be by her side,
I’m so glad,
She’s now alright.

Thought at first,
That I could be,
But now I know,
That there is he.

Doesn’t matter,
That he’s the one.
As long as she’s happy --
That’s all I want.
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What happened at 11:00pm that caused this change?

I had the longest chat I ever had with pearl, up till date. A whopping 4 hours... yeow.... Talk about long chats... And we talked about everything.... including her boyfriend.

Now, why would I even let myself like a gal that already has a boyfriend you might ask...

I thought it was over between them already. He punched her. Erm.... That's pretty serious... And I knew she was already thinking of breaking up with him... at that time, I was of the impression that she decided on it already, and so, I never really asked about her boyfriend anymore, assuming they have broken off. That's when I started to allow myself to like her. And with time, this feeling got stronger and stronger.... till what it is today.

When she told me her story about how they got back together, I was disappointed, expectedly so, as I will never go after a person who is already attached, and at the same time, I was glad for her, at the same time, in admiration of her.

Glad for her, I'm sure everyone will know. Cause she's happy now, and that's what is the most important. If you truly like someone, as long as that person is happy, you'd feel happy for that person too...

But why in admiration? This incident showed her character a lot. Despite of being abused by her boyfriend, and her boyfriend being in a horrendous state at that time (financially, emotionally, basically every possible trouble), though she was tempted to leave him, she decided to help him along to make him stand on his two feet... Even for me, who find myself quite helpful as a person, willing to help those in need, I'm not sure at all whether I'd do the same if I were in her position. Ok, maybe there's the emotional bond between the two of them to start off with, but even so, after such a great hurt, and seeing someone in his lowest, most horrendous state, she is still willing to accompany him through thick and thin, this I really admire.... Speaks a lot of the person... Most people in this case would just break up with their boyfriend over much lesser issues, much less such a big issue, including the emotional hurt from such a physical assult (especially since she is a pampered child since young, and never experienced such violence). I'm really touched by her, and just wish both of them the best of luck, from the bottom of my heart. Because of her, obviously, not because of him... He had better treat her much better now that he has recovered from this low of his. If he is like the imperial scholar who abandons his village wife when he attains power and wealth, marrying the emperor's daughter, then he really deserves the worse possible fate....

Once again, to pearl and her boyfriend,

Best of luck, and may you two find happiness in the midst of all the troubles in this world!