My worst bad dream up till date
Never had such a bad bad dream before.....
Started out with Pearl calling me up to ask me go shopping for some stuff with her... (Isn't good, since in my dream I knew that she called because I called earlier, and she said she'd get back to me).... So I went along... She was driving, and with her this other guy... So she picked me up, and we went to Bukit Timah Plaza to find her thing.... (A side issue, her driving was horrendous..... told her to keep to the center lane for fear that she'd mount the curb or somehting)... For the sake of free parking, she parked the car at Ngee Ann Poly, and we went to take a bus to go there... (Doesn't really make much sense since it is already within walking distance)...
Anyway, on the bus, I talked to this other guy, and he told me that the two of them just finished outdoor sales, and they were selling some item, which looks a lot of the snoopy toys I was selling in real life.... And that guy was telling me how easy it was to sell them.... that you have to "aim one person, then go all out for it" or somehting.... and he said that together, they managed to sell 120 of those toys..... ARGH!!! wat a blow to me, as after 10 days of snoopy selling, I only managed to sell 1!!!!
Soon, we got off the bus to walk there, and we couldn't find Pearl... We were thinking.... "hong gan.... she must have gotten up the wrong bus in the first place" (she can get lost very easily one).... Fortunately, she appeared from behind us.... apparently she got off the bus without any of us noticing it.... At this point, I was feeling pretty depressed and not in the mood liao for 2 reasons.... First, that they managed to sell 120 toys while I sold 1, and secondly, that they were selling it together, so that means she is damn close to this guy.... So, I said, "I think I go home liao", and, lo and behold, she never ask me to stay or anything, just said "ok, then byebye" and walked off with the other guy to BT Plaza...
I was totally devastated.... I wasted my time, money, watever, and ended up like that..... where she doesn't even give a damn about me.... I was about to take a bus to go home, but the pain was too much for me to bear..... so I decided to run home, to let all the pain out -- running can actually numb the pain, as I'd be so tired I can't think of anything else.... I ran at maximum speed, so that I wouldn't think about it anymore.... But after a while, even my running seems to be constrained.... There was like this invisible force slowing me down, such that I seemed to be running in slow motion, while the rest of the world is in actual speed... So my running was slower than other ppl's walking.... I try to run faster, but my legs just can't touch the ground more quickly.... a little like floating or something...
Anyway, fast forward, I ran all the way, but got lost and ended up at ACJC, after taking some underpasses which were very like city link mall.... People were everywhere, though it was then just before dawn.... I figured then it was due to some major exams like 'A' levels or something... I walked into a nearby petrol station, and still this depressing feeling was bugging me.... I felt like screaming out and crying in pain, but I couldn't do that.... I'm a guy.... It was so painful that I suddenly threw the entire thought of Pearl out of my head.... and peace..... for that moment.... I realised once again that if I didn't think about it at all, my life would be so much less painful.... and the last words that struck me before I woke up immediately after were that 'though life would be so much less painful if I just let go, was the pain enough yet to force me to let go?' To let go would be not to want her anymore.....
At this point, I woke up, and I was still kinda in a daze.... The dream seemed so real I thought it was real, and for a moment I found it hard to accept that it was all a dream.... It was so realistic.... some parts even in colour.... (Pearl wore some totally black jacket, the kid I tried to outrun but in vain wore some orange t-shirt, and the petrol kiosk was very brightly litted like some futuristic hang out place or something) Even now, while writing this blog, I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that its just a dream..... my stomach's feeling funny, and my mind is still wondering if this dream is a reflection of real life......
Dreams can be so painful.....
Started out with Pearl calling me up to ask me go shopping for some stuff with her... (Isn't good, since in my dream I knew that she called because I called earlier, and she said she'd get back to me).... So I went along... She was driving, and with her this other guy... So she picked me up, and we went to Bukit Timah Plaza to find her thing.... (A side issue, her driving was horrendous..... told her to keep to the center lane for fear that she'd mount the curb or somehting)... For the sake of free parking, she parked the car at Ngee Ann Poly, and we went to take a bus to go there... (Doesn't really make much sense since it is already within walking distance)...
Anyway, on the bus, I talked to this other guy, and he told me that the two of them just finished outdoor sales, and they were selling some item, which looks a lot of the snoopy toys I was selling in real life.... And that guy was telling me how easy it was to sell them.... that you have to "aim one person, then go all out for it" or somehting.... and he said that together, they managed to sell 120 of those toys..... ARGH!!! wat a blow to me, as after 10 days of snoopy selling, I only managed to sell 1!!!!
Soon, we got off the bus to walk there, and we couldn't find Pearl... We were thinking.... "hong gan.... she must have gotten up the wrong bus in the first place" (she can get lost very easily one).... Fortunately, she appeared from behind us.... apparently she got off the bus without any of us noticing it.... At this point, I was feeling pretty depressed and not in the mood liao for 2 reasons.... First, that they managed to sell 120 toys while I sold 1, and secondly, that they were selling it together, so that means she is damn close to this guy.... So, I said, "I think I go home liao", and, lo and behold, she never ask me to stay or anything, just said "ok, then byebye" and walked off with the other guy to BT Plaza...
I was totally devastated.... I wasted my time, money, watever, and ended up like that..... where she doesn't even give a damn about me.... I was about to take a bus to go home, but the pain was too much for me to bear..... so I decided to run home, to let all the pain out -- running can actually numb the pain, as I'd be so tired I can't think of anything else.... I ran at maximum speed, so that I wouldn't think about it anymore.... But after a while, even my running seems to be constrained.... There was like this invisible force slowing me down, such that I seemed to be running in slow motion, while the rest of the world is in actual speed... So my running was slower than other ppl's walking.... I try to run faster, but my legs just can't touch the ground more quickly.... a little like floating or something...
Anyway, fast forward, I ran all the way, but got lost and ended up at ACJC, after taking some underpasses which were very like city link mall.... People were everywhere, though it was then just before dawn.... I figured then it was due to some major exams like 'A' levels or something... I walked into a nearby petrol station, and still this depressing feeling was bugging me.... I felt like screaming out and crying in pain, but I couldn't do that.... I'm a guy.... It was so painful that I suddenly threw the entire thought of Pearl out of my head.... and peace..... for that moment.... I realised once again that if I didn't think about it at all, my life would be so much less painful.... and the last words that struck me before I woke up immediately after were that 'though life would be so much less painful if I just let go, was the pain enough yet to force me to let go?' To let go would be not to want her anymore.....
At this point, I woke up, and I was still kinda in a daze.... The dream seemed so real I thought it was real, and for a moment I found it hard to accept that it was all a dream.... It was so realistic.... some parts even in colour.... (Pearl wore some totally black jacket, the kid I tried to outrun but in vain wore some orange t-shirt, and the petrol kiosk was very brightly litted like some futuristic hang out place or something) Even now, while writing this blog, I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that its just a dream..... my stomach's feeling funny, and my mind is still wondering if this dream is a reflection of real life......
Dreams can be so painful.....
posted by - Emptiness - | 11:22 am
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